Always Been You by Lily Miller
Seven
Olivia
We are seatedat the last table available at the newest restaurant on the beach. It is packed with people sitting inside and outside at the most beautiful patio in Reed Point, covered in Edison lights and fire tables. Our table is indoors, on the edge of what will turn into a makeshift dance floor right in front of a long marble bar extending across the entire back wall.
I’m glad I agreed to a night out. I typically prefer a cozy night in with a glass of wine and some bad reality TV or a book, but this is nice for a change and definitely needed.
Ellie orders us a round of drinks to get the night started and I know I’m going to have to pace myself if I want to keep up with her.
“Kate, give us the goods. How did your whack-a-do speed dating lunch go today? I still can’t believe you did that. Was it full of crazy cat women and gamer nerds? Please tell me you took a shower before meeting us tonight,” Ellie teases, looking beautiful in a black strapless top and high-waisted skinny jeans, her hair in waves down her back.
“Leave me alone, you bully. Stop being so judgey. It wasn’t all bad. There were some nice guys there.”
“Like who?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at her.
“Well, there was a fireman, and an art teacher and this one guy who refused to tell me what he did for a living. He said the topic was ‘off limits.’”
“What the fuck, Kate, are you kidding me? He’s either a serial killer who wants to wear your skin as a jacket or he’s a stripper,” Ellie teases.
“Ooh let him be a stripper, did he have a hot body?” I add. “Oh wait, I got ahead of myself there. How would you know unless you took him to the washroom and undressed him and had dirty washroom sex? So… did you?”
“Really?” Kate rolls her eyes at me.
“Seriously Kate, did that not concern you at all? Talk about a red flag. Please tell me you filed a police report on that creep. How about the fire fighter? Did he talk about his hose and what he wanted to do to you with it?”
“Oh, for the love of God, Ellie. Could you be anymore cliché? He was a gentleman and never once talked about his hose, but there was this one guy who barely spoke English and he kept calling me Kitty. But it got really weird when he asked me to remove one shoe.”
“What? Why? Please tell me there’s more to this story.” I rub my hands together, eager to hear the rest.
“Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing.” Kate covers her face with her hands. “It took me forever to figure it out.”
“Jesus, no Kate! Did he want to check your feet out before committing to a date with you?”
Kate erupts in a fit of laughter, barely able to get the words out. “He had a foot fetish, you guys! He wanted to do sex stuff to my feet!”
We all lose it at this point.
“Sex stuff? I can’t take it. What does that even mean? No wait, never mind, I don’t want to know,” I say as our waiter, with apparently impeccable timing, arrives with our drinks.
“Please tell us that you will never sign up for another one of these crazy town shit shows again. Stop the speed dating!” Ellie announces, clinking her glass to ours in cheers. We all take a sip.
“And then how would I entertain you?” Kate smirks, resting her chin on her hands, looking gorgeous.
Kate has always been the popular one, the girl with the social life and a line-up of guys who wanted to date her. She never studied because school just didn’t interest her. She was a C student who preferred to skip with her friends and head down to the park or the secluded area of the beach. She has always been carefree and rolls with the punches, a dreamer at heart. I have always been the polar opposite. I’m quieter with a type A personality; I prefer things put in their place. I’m happy with a good book in a quiet space. In high school, I kept to my group of friends who enjoyed theatre and dance. I auditioned every semester for the school play and always won the role I was working for. I rarely broke the rules, whereas my sister felt rules were made to be broken.
There was one exception.
Sneaking out to meet Parker became a regular occurrence when I was 17. He would wait for me under my bedroom window after my parents went to sleep. My room was at the front of the house and down a long hallway from my parents, which made it easy to slip out without them hearing me. The home I grew up in was big - not Bennett estate big, but still pretty impressive. It sat on a one-acre lot, with a kidney-shaped pool in the backyard and lush, perfectly manicured hedges for privacy. I loved living in that house. Until the day it was no longer ours.
Parker and I would stay out late into the night, talking for hours. I wanted to know everything there was to know about the boy who looked at me like I’d hung the stars. It was only a matter of time before we took things further. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, our self-control was non-existent back then. We were love drunk teenagers.
One night in particular is etched in my mind forever. We had met as usual beneath my window and ran hand-in-hand to his pickup that was parked just down the street from my house. I think we both knew that night would be different, that it would change us both. It would change everything.
He parked the truck at a viewpoint that overlooked the dunes by the ocean and smoothed a blanket over the bed of his truck. The hot July night air hung thick all around and it felt like there was nothing else in the world but us and our beating hearts. We laid together on our backs in the dark staring up at the onyx sky counting stars and making silent wishes on the falling ones.
I still remember him leaning over to kiss me, one hand on my cheek and the other hand pressing into my hip. Our bodies pressed together as my arms wrapped around him, pulling him into me. I wanted it and I could feel he wanted it too.
We are written in the stars, Livy. He whispered in my ear and I was gone. Drowning so far in the depths of Parker that I never wanted to come up for air.
Ours hands were touching, grabbing, taking whatever we could get from one another. Our clothes were off in seconds, our mouths greedily tasting each other. We drew apart for a moment and his eyes locked on mine, making sure this was what I wanted. He was so sweet and kind. He didn’t want me to feel pressured but there was nothing on that earth that I wanted more. He slid himself into me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. I closed my eyes, the emotions running though me with such intensity it all went black and I saw stars. Beautiful bright white stars that rivalled the ones in the sky. He rocked back and forth taking it slow like he was afraid to hurt me. I asked for more and he gave it to me, harder and harder until we both came undone. I remember feeling the adrenaline pumping through my veins as he collapsed over top of me and whispered, he loved me. It was perfect. Our perfect moment, and I’ve never been able to erase it from my mind.
He brought me home later that night and we sat in each other’s arms by the pool, not wanting to say goodbye. Once we started kissing, I never wanted to stop.
“Hello? Earth to Olivia!”
I’m jolted from the memory at the sound of my sister’s voice.
“Ellie and I were just saying that looks like Jace at the bar, wearing the black button up?”
I look to my left, at the crowded bar. “Oh. Yeah, it is him,” I reply. “Do you guys mind if I run over for a second? I should go say hi.”
“If you don’t, one of us will. Olivia, I don’t get it, he is seriously hot. Look at him. How have you not slept with him yet? You have some major willpower that I don’t have.” I could be wrong, but Ellie might be drooling as she says it.
“It’s not like that between us. We are just friends. There’s just never been that spark. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I make my way to the bar to where Jace is standing with a friend. The girls are right, he does look good. Handsome in a pair of dark jeans, his black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his forearms, showing off his caramel-colored skin.
When I first met him in college, Jace was seeing a pretty girl named Faith; she was two years younger than us, from Rhode Island. It is probably one of the reasons we have never dated. It was impossible not to like her. Faith and I hit it off right away, spending Friday nights at the pub on campus with Jace and a group of friends we all had in common. Unfortunately for Jace, Faith had big plans and once she graduated from college, she packed her bags and her VW and moved to the west coast. A long-distance relationship worked for a minute but eventually it fizzled and Jace broke things off.
“Jace.” I beam, surprising him from behind.
“Hey Liv. It’s really nice to see you. You look beautiful.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. “Who are you here with?”
“Kate and Ellie.” I motion to our table where they are sitting, clearly amused about something. Ellie’s head is thrown back in a roaring laugh while Kate looks like she is on the verge of tears. “An emergency girls’ night was apparently on their agenda today, so here we are.”
“Nice. It’s good to see you here and not working the night away. Hey, let me buy you a drink. Pick your passion.” He motions to the bartender and I order a gin and tonic. He then introduces me to his friend Matt, who is standing next to us in a deep discussion with a blonde who is very obviously a fan of the push-up bra and wing tipped eyeliner. I’m not usually this judgmental. I swear.
“Are you guys waiting on a table or sitting at the bar?” I ask him. “I’m sure we could ask the waitress if she could squish you two in with us at our table if you want?” I know it’s girls’ night, but I also know the two single girls at my table wouldn’t mind. The question is whether we can peel Matt away.
“That sounds fun, but busting in on girls’ night also sounds dangerous.”
“Trust me Jace, there will be no complaints and besides, the more the merrier, right?” I glance around the restaurant looking for our waitress to ask her for two more chairs.
The bartender hands me my drink and Jace and I raise our tumblers, toasting to a good night and great friends. My open V-neck sweater slips off my shoulder and down my arm. Jace reaches to draw it back on my shoulder just as my eyes move towards the main entrance of the restaurant. My heart seizes and my knees go weak as I brace myself on the bar. I am staring right at that beautiful man who once stole my heart, the heart that no one since him has been able to claim.
Parker is here, looking sexier than ever, with a look in his eyes that tells me I’m in serious trouble.
Parker
She notices me as soon as I walk into Catch 21. My eyes find hers immediately, along with the asshole who has his hands all over her. To say it annoys the fuck out of me is an understatement.
Who the hell is this guy and why is she with him?
Part of me wants to walk right over there and tell him to get the hell away from her, but I fight the urge, knowing that would only make me look like a jackass.
The room - full of people dining, drinking and out for a good time – falls silent in my head. It’s just her and I alone in the space. Her full lips part and fall open as she meets my gaze. Her big, cocoa colored eyes wide with shock.
She looks good enough to eat in her off-the-shoulder sweater dress and high heel boots that end at her knees, her golden hair flowing in waves down her back. I try to keep my cool and keep myself together, giving her a half smile as I walk to my table behind Miles, Liam and Hunter, my hands clenched into tight fists. I will let the air settle between us before I make my move.
We are seated at our table inside and I make sure to take the seat that gives me the best view of the restaurant and Livy. The guys haven’t noticed her yet and I’m hoping it will stay that way for as long as possible to avoid the questions and most likely a lengthy interrogation.
Our server comes to the table and Hunter is quick to order us a round of shots. Miles flirts with the waitress, who brings us our drinks a few minutes later.
“Easy on the tequila shots, Hunter. It’s Sunday and Monday will come quick. Some of us have to actually work,” Liam barks, lifting an eyebrow.
“Jesus, Liam, take your balls out of your purse and shoot the fucking tequila.” Miles laughs, rolling his eyes at our older brother.
“What would you know about work, Miles? You play make-believe for a living.”
“For fuck sakes. We get together how many times a year and I have to listen to you two bitch?” Hunter takes a pull of his beer, annoyance crossing his face. He looks to me, changing the subject. “Parker, any news on the Cape May project? Is it a done deal yet?”
“This deal has been breaking my balls, but I finally heard from Jordan a few hours ago. Nelson called him to confirm that it’s all been settled, and we can start construction next month. The signed contracts are being sent to Dad’s office tomorrow. Liam, will you have time tomorrow to go over them?”
“Yeah, I’ll check in with Dad tomorrow and sort it out. I’ll text you when I have a chance to look it over. This is going to be good, Parker. That location is prime, and I plan on taking full advantage of it.”
“Great news, brother. I think this calls for another round of shots. The Bennetts are taking over,” Miles announces, looking over his shoulder to flag down our server.
“What’s going on with you, Hunter? Your dad still breathing down your neck?” I ask.
Hunter had followed in his dad’s footsteps working at the family business, holding a title there that he never had to work for. His is a classic case of Peter Pan syndrome, a boy who, despite being in his late 20s now, still doesn’t really want to grow up. Hunter works hard but plays much harder. He spends his money on expensive toys and on girls with expensive tastes and seems to have no interest in settling down.
We played on the same high-level football and soccer teams for years, Hunter always wanting the win no matter the cost. He collected red cards like they held value and could be traded. At school, Hunter walked the halls like the trust fund kid he was. Everyone knew him and wanted to be part of his circle, but most had it all wrong. Deep down, Hunter isn’t the bad boy that he portrayed. He is good at his core and a loyal friend who would do anything for you. He just likes the rush of pushing boundaries and taking things too far.
I spend the next hour stealing glances in her direction. It’s taken every ounce of willpower I have not to look her way every three seconds. Watching Livy at her table eating dinner with her sister, Ellie and the two guys from the bar is driving me out of my mind. The jealousy claws at me even though I know I have no right. In all honesty my eyes haven’t left her for more than two minutes at a time. I’ve caught her stares my way too, giving me a glimmer of hope.
How could she forget that connection we shared?
There’s little doubt in mind that if it felt that strong for me, it had to have felt that way to her too.
“Parker, did you hear a word I said? What the hell is the matter with you tonight?” Hunter questions me from across the table. Seeing how distracted I am, he turns his head, following my stare. A second later, he spins back around back to me with an amused grin on his face. Busted.
“Are you serious, Parks? Olivia?” Hunter challenges. “What is it with you and her? You’ve had your eyes focused that way all night. Are you two back on?”
“No, it’s not like that.” Raising the tumbler to my mouth, I shoot back the gold liquid, feeling the burn down my throat. I decide there is no point in talking about it. Even if I told him everything- that I was going for it, that I was determined to make Livy mine - he would never believe that I might be ready to settle down with one woman. I barely understand myself.
Livy is different. She is different than any other girl that I’ve ever been with. As soon as I saw her again the other day, I knew that I had to have her. Whatever happened in the past, whatever heartbreak there was between us, it doesn’t change the fact that she is my girl. The girl. She always has been, and always will be. There is no other option. And I won’t stop until she knows it. “Well then what is it like?” Hunter asks. “I’ve only seen you look like this once before and we know how that ended. Are you sure you know what you are doing? I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“I just saw her for the first time in eight years and I’m trying to figure this out. You know how it was between us.” I notice that Livy is getting up from her seat and walking towards the open patio.
“You always did have an intense connection, but you lead two different lives now. You live in New York. You love women. Plural. Do you honestly think you could leave it all behind for a high school crush?”
It takes me no longer than three seconds to make up my mind.
“I guess we are going to find out.”
I stand up from my chair and follow Livy to the patio. I’m not giving up on her and I refuse to walk away. I won’t go back home without a fight.