Luna Rising by Sloane Murphy

Chapter Seventeen

This last week has been enough to drive any person to murder.

It’s official. The past week has driven me very close to the point of no return. Or at least to the point of a little homicide.

I’ve had it with the whispers and looks of pity that follow me around the compound. If the pack doesn’t stop looking at me like I’m some sort of wounded puppy, someone is going to bleed. I am Alpha born, dammit. I need them to both respect and fear me. Well, at some point anyway. This pity bullshit has got to stop. I’ve spent the last week putting on a brave face, working on the construction for Arrow’s family’s houses, training with the enforcers, and trying to get back to life as normal. I’m three weeks past having my heart torn out of my chest and stomped on, and it doesn’t quite feel like I won’t survive the day when I wake up anymore.

Between the keening bond in my chest and the ache in my heart over everything that happened with Maddox, it’s been rough as fuck. But I’m getting there. I just need everyone else around me to move the fuck on so I can finish my healing process in peace.

I really want to see Maddox too, but leaving the pack right now just seems like a bad idea. There's enough gossip right now as it is. I don’t need to add fuel to the fire. I settle for a text rather than begging a portal to the Manor off of someone.

Me: I hope you’re okay, and I miss you. Let me know when you’re around so we can hang out.

I tuck my phone away and head down the stairs, ready for my morning run. I pull to a stop in the threshold of my house when I open my front door and find Maddox standing on the front step, ready to knock. It only takes me a second to work out that my brain isn’t manifesting him and that he really is standing here in front of me.

Without hesitation, I launch into his arms, pulling him close and holding him so goddamn tight. I hate how much distance there is between us lately. I don’t want to lead him on, and it might be selfish of me knowing what I know, but I need him. He’s my oldest friend, after all. He jolts against my sudden embrace, tensing momentarily, but then his arms snake up, and he’s holding me as tightly as I am him.

I really did fucking miss him.

I was a little worried things would be awkward between us, but it seems like the tie between us that overrides everything else is holding strong..

Stupid Fates. Why couldn’t they have given me someone like Maddox instead of Jackson?

I’m not sure how long we stand there like that, holding one another and not speaking, but Mom eventually interrupts us, clearing her throat. “Do you guys want some breakfast?”

I pull back from him, and glance back at my mom, who looks as sad as my heart feels.

“Food would be great,” Maddox replies, his usual smile on his face. He breezes past me like the last three weeks haven’t happened and heads toward the kitchen.

If he can get past it, then so can I. I don’t want to lose my friend over some pre-fated bullshit. I smile at Mom and nod. “I can eat.”

I’ll get my run in later, this is way more important. “I’m just going to run upstairs and change real quick.”

She nods at me, and I take the stairs two at a time, eager to get back to the comfort of being near my best friend. It doesn’t take long to change as I swap my running gear for denim cut-offs, a white tank top, and a black shirt to cover my shoulders. I head back downstairs to find my mom crying with laughter while Maddox grins at her.

“What did I miss?” I smile, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. I hadn’t realized how much I fed on his carefree spirit in the past. I guess with everything going on lately, I need his sunshine more than I realized.

“Just catching your mom up on the craziness that has been home these last few weeks. Raze kind of lost his shit at one point, and now Colt doesn’t have eyebrows.” I burst out laughing at the image it brings to my mind, and his grin widens. “See, it’s funny shit.”

“Yes, it is,” my mom says around her laughter. “Now sit down, and I’ll have food done in a few minutes.”

He grins at her with a ‘thank you’ and plonks himself down at the table. I sit next to him, and he bumps me with his shoulder. “How are you doing?”

“I’m… I’m as okay as I can be. I just want to move past it, ya know?” I look down at my hands, wringing them out because this is the awkward conversation I’ve been worried about. “How are you doing?”

“I’m worried about you, but I’m okay,” he says with a shrug. “It is what it is, but this doesn’t change anything between us. You’re still my person.”

I lean my head on his shoulder, very aware that my mom is pretending not to watch or listen to us. “You’re my person too.” He sighs and leans his head on mine as we watch my mom cook.

We sit like that, with his head on top of mine and his earthy scent wrapping around me, until Mom brings breakfast over and my dad wanders down to join us. The rest of breakfast is like the last few weeks never happened, and it's everything I didn’t know I needed. I feel calmer than I have in several weeks.

“Maddox, are you sticking around for long?” my dad asks, and I finally tune back into their conversation.

“No, sir. I’m only here for the morning. My dad wants me to tag along with him as he visits the other packs. He’s trying to figure out if the rogues have defected from certain packs or if they’ve been laying low for the last twenty odd years.” His chest puffs out a little with pride. I guess Roman has been stepping up the amount of responsibility Maddox has, which absolutely tracks. He’s literally the next Alpha of Alphas. People need to see him stepping up, even though he’s as young as he is. Respect is earned, and Roman's shadow is cast wide.

“Makes sense, I’d been wondering that myself,” Dad mutters as he pushes away from the table. He moves toward the counter, scooping up the keys to the business center as he goes. He pauses near the door. “It was good to see you, but I need to go. I have to finalize the sale of the extension this morning. We’ll see you soon?”

“You can count on it.” Maddox grins at him and bumps his shoulder against mine again. “Speaking of, I should probably get going too. Thank you so much for breakfast, Leandra.”

“You’re more than welcome, Maddox. You know our home is yours too.” Mom beams back at him, and I curse the Fates once more for fucking with the hopes everyone else had around the two of us.

At least Jackson is gone, and I don’t have to see him ever again. We can all move on from it and pretend it never happened. Right?

* * *

After checking in with Lacey and making sure she doesn’t need me today, I head over to my dad's office. I walk in to find him pushing himself up from his desk, a determined look set over his hard features as he dismisses the rest of the men in his office.

“Luna,” he beams when he catches sight of me in the door, “you’re just the person I was coming to find!” He’s so cheery when he greets me that I can’t help but think that the sale must have gone well. “Are you free for the rest of the day?”

“I am, and I was just coming to see if you needed me for anything.”

“Perfect.” He grins at me as Thatch and a few others leave his office, closing the door behind them. He motions for me to sit opposite him, so I drop down into one of the leather seats in front of his desk. He looks serious for a second before sighing. “I know these last few weeks have been hard on you. I haven’t wanted to say anything or intervene because I have no idea of knowing just how much it's truly hurting you…” He pauses for a moment, his face screwed up as he chews over his words. “Wow, I am really bad with words.”

I laugh a little at him. “You’re fine, Dad, we don’t need to talk about it.”

“I know, but I just… I wanted to let you know that this doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You’re one of the strongest people I know, and heartache is part of what makes us all stronger. I know that love is out there for you somewhere, but in the meantime, there is so much else out in the world for you to experience. Starting with helping me with finalizing the plans for the new expansion. I was hoping you’d oversee it all once we had everything nailed down.” The hope and pride in his eyes takes some of the sting out of his talk about heartache and love.

“Sure thing, Dad, that sounds fun.”

His smile is downright dazzling as he claps his hands together. “Perfect! It turns out that Arrow is an architect, so your decision to accept him and his family into the pack is a gift that just keeps on giving. He’s agreed to help us finalize the structural designs so we don’t have to hire out like we did with the homes.”

“That sounds great, Dad. When do we get started?”

“The sale was finalized this morning, so I’d like to get started right now if you’re up for it. Before we start anything major, though, I do want to get the walls extended around the new land. That will take a few weeks, and after that, the hard work really begins.”

The thought of losing myself in something like this sounds absolutely perfect. How better to distract myself and let the pack see that I’m okay than diving into a project like this?

He pulls the maps out and shows me the new boundaries again, explaining where the walls will be erected, and emphasizing the new double wall lines he’s installing in response to the recent attacks. We start drawing out new plans from the ones he originally showed me, working on ways to make the compound flow a bit better than it does currently without losing too much of the forest space required for runs.

“If the pack keeps growing at the rate it has been, we’re going to need as much space for runs as we can.” He’s not wrong, so I nod and we shade over the space we’d like to keep as forested land.

“We’re going to need to knock down the current wall here,” I say, pointing to the far side of the compound on the map. “But we can extend it from here, to encompass the new space, meaning we can have this space back. We could use this area for the leisure center I was talking about. If we make a separate entrance for it from the main road, we could even use it as an extra revenue source from the humans.”

“That’s a brilliant idea, Luna!” His chest puffs out wide with pride, and I smile so wide my cheeks hurt. It’s not like my dad isn’t proud of me in general, but we’ve never had a moment quite like this either.

Maybe he was right. Maybe what happened with Jackson doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Maybe it can just be something that I’ve survived. There's no reason that I can’t move past it. I didn’t want to find my mate yet anyway. Now I don’t have to worry about it. I just need the bond in my chest to catch up with that train of thought. My wolf seems just as sad as she always has been about the whole thing, and she aches along with my bond, which makes sense, considering they’re linked.

I won’t let this one moment define my life, though. I have so many other good things in my life to focus on, so that's what I’m going to do.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I think that's all we need for the day, so why don’t you head off to training? I approved you and Nova for weapons training over the weekend, so I think Thatch is going to get that started today.”

My grin widens at the very idea of it. I’ve wanted to do more training ever since the weekend I spent training with Remy, and if Dad’s approved it, that means I get access to the gun range here.

I jump up and head around the desk to hug him. He seems shocked but softens to the embrace after a moment. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Anything for you, bug. I’ve set aside a plot so we can build you your own house too.” I squeeze him tighter at his words. This, this is the joy I’ve so desperately been lacking. This whole day is my turning point. I’m putting it out into the universe so no one can fuck with it.

“You’re the best, Dad.”

“Oh I know, bug. Now get going, you don’t want to be late for training.” I release him and run out of the door before running back and saying ‘thank you’ one more time. He laughs and waves me away, so I hurry home and change before hauling ass over to the enforcers' training field. Nova’s waiting for me with a grin as wide as the one I feel splitting my face.

“Your dad told you?” she asks when I reach her.

“He did. Best freaking day.”

“Hell yes it is. Now let's go up our badass status, shall we?”

“Move your asses, ladies, time waits for no one.” Thatch’s voice booms across the field, and I notice the other enforcers already running drills as Thatch walks in the opposite direction from us, heading to the range.

We haul ass across the space after him, giving the enforcers a wide berth, and my heart races.

I can survive this, I just need to take each day as it comes. The bond will eventually settle down until I don’t notice it anymore. Until then, I have the best people around me to carry me through.

* * *

An afternoon of feeling like a total badass and slaying at weapons training is exactly what my poor ego and pride needed. Outshooting some of the other enforcers was definitely good for my soul too. Training with Remy and Raze gave me one hell of a head start.

To celebrate, Nova and I head to Joe’s for burgers, bouncing away in the Comet as Hey Violet blasts through the stereo. I pull into the lot, and the bond in my chest goes fucking insane instantly. I take a deep breath as I pull into a parking space and to try and calm myself, but that only makes it that much worse.

“Jackson was here,” I say through gritted teeth, and Nova’s eyes go wide.

She takes a deep breath with her eyes closed, nose wrinkled, and nods, confirming what my nose is already telling me. “Yeah, he’s not here right now, though. It's been a few days at least, I think. I think you’re just hypersensitive to him. I wouldn’t have noticed his scent specifically if I wasn’t searching for it. Are you still okay to go in, or do you just want to go home?”

“We’re going in,” I tell her. I’ve already promised myself that what he did isn’t going to take anything more from me than it already has, and Joe’s is mine, goddammit. “I want that burger and shake way too badly to let this ruin it.”

“I was really hoping you were going to say that.” She grins at me and unbuckles before climbing out of the car. I take a steadying breath, trying to steel myself against the confusing emotions his overwhelming scent drags to the surface, and I hope like hell the bond in my chest calms the fuck down by the time I get inside.

I climb out of the car, determined that this won’t ruin the progress I’ve made, and follow Nova into Joe’s. We sit at our usual booth, and I relax a little as I sink into the buttery, cracked leather. It’s pretty slow, and the server heads over almost as soon as we’re settled. I order the exact same thing I always get, Nova does the same, and we descend into a comfortable silence. The silence doesn’t mean I can’t tell how badly she wants to start asking me questions.

She fidgets in her seat, twisting this way and that like an antsy toddler, until I can’t help but laugh. “Just ask…”

She nearly bursts at my words, though she at least manages to look contrite as she spits, “So… you and Maddox?”

“Are just friends,” I tell her honestly. Even if he wanted it to be something completely different, and even though I’ve realized that I was blind as fuck before now, friends is all we can ever really be.

“That seems stupid. Can Lycans be fated to more than one person?”

I shake my head, and she rolls her eyes. “Not that I’ve ever heard of. Even Roman has only ever been fated to Remy. It’s Remy who was pulled to the others, and her guys just kind of got on board with it.”

“That’s so fucking stupid,” she huffs. “The Fates suck. I’m officially never going to a mating ritual. Your dad can kiss my round heiney. It might be the only order I ever go against, but I’m not doing it. What you went through is absolute fucking bullshit. It pisses me off that the Witches made it part of their curse at the origins. I mean, wouldn’t you think, considering how much closer the factions are these days, that someone could undo the whole fated thing?”

“But not everyone would want that,” I manage to cut into her diatribe as she pauses for a breath. I fix her with a hard stare, and she purses her lips as I continue, “I mean, you say you don’t want it now, but you’ve been a purist up to this point. You’ve never even really looked at another Lycan because there was a chance of finding your mate. Would you really change a part of who you are just because of what happened to me?”

“Stupid hot, surly Jackson,” she grumbles, and I laugh a little remembering that she was initially attracted to the dickhead who was meant to be my mate. “I haven’t said sorry for that yet either, so uhm, sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You didn’t know, and I don’t care. He didn’t want me, and I have little doubt he’s a purist.” I shrug as the server brings over our shakes, and I eagerly pull mine across the table toward me.

“Yeah, but still,” she says as she stabs a straw into her own shake. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone moodily drink something before, but there’s no other way to describe what she’s doing as she leans heavily over the table and takes a long pull from the ice creamy goodness. She sits back with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can’t believe I ever thought that cumshot was attractive. I’m obviously fucked in the head even worse than I realized. As for me being a purist, I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. I feel like that was my mom’s thing, and after everything that happened with my parents, I just sort of clung to it. I’m not sure it was ever truly a me thing.”

I frown at her as she takes another sip of her shake. Up until that blip with Jackson, she’s always been focused on the whole purist thing. I don’t want what happened to me to fuck with her outlook on life. “I can accept that as long as it's actually about that and not about Jackson rejecting me.” The words feel like ash in my mouth, but I get them out nonetheless. Nova is important to me, and this stupid bond can fuck right off. “The rejection thing is the exception, not the rule. You deserve to find happiness, Nova.”

“Pfft, happiness is relative. I’m perfectly happy as I am now.”

I watch her closely, and she seems set in her decision. It’s not up to me to change her mind either way, so I relent because I know more than most how much it sucks to have people preach to you about what your life should be and how you should live it. “As long as you’re sure, you know I’ll support you no matter what. You can just be my sister-wife or something.”

She barks out a laugh and lifts her shake, clinking the glass against mine. “Sounds like a deal. If I can put up with Maddox fucking Bennett for this many years because I love you so much, I can’t think of anything that will break us. To sister-wives.”

“To sister-wives.” I laugh, lifting my glass to toast with her just as the server comes back with my burger.

My dad was right. What happened to me isn’t the end of the world. I have so many good things in my life, and I just have to remember that this wasn’t even something I wanted before the bond came to life inside of me. I had goals and dreams.

This rejection just means I can live them out.

This could be a blessing in disguise.

For now, I have my besties at my side, my family, and my future laid out before me. What more could a girl ask for?

* * *

It’s been a week since the plans were finalized for the expansion, and today’s the day that work starts on the property. I literally couldn’t be more excited. There’s no way I could ever thank my dad enough for giving me the world's best distraction from the ridiculous ache in my chest.

I spent the last three days with Arrow, designing what will be my new home. Today we start digging for the foundation. My little plot of land is on the border of the compound, practically being built into the forest. It's so freaking perfect.

Excited isn’t a strong enough word to even really describe how I feel. Life is moving forward, and it’s coming up rainbows.

I’m about to dig in and help with the construction pre-work when my phone buzzes in my pocket.

Dad: Roman just arrived with news about the rogues. I’d like you to be part of the conversation. Will you meet us in my office in five?

I grin so freaking hard. It might have taken my heart being ripped out of my chest publicly, but my dad is finally treating me like an adult. There’s another tick on the ‘life is looking up’ board.

Me: Sure thing, won’t be long

“Arrow!” I yell, and thankfully he hears me over the chaos on this side of the compound. I break ground on my plot, digging my shovel in as far as it will go, before handing it over to the construction guys and heading over to the man in charge. “My dad needs me for a bit, but I’ll be back.”

“You’re good, we’ve got this all covered. The foundation will be up before you know it!” He grins at me, brushing some dirt from my shoulder before sending me on my way. I practically skip across the compound. Most of the whispers about me have died down in the past few weeks. The whispers about Jackson’s disappearing act seem to have only ramped up. I don’t want his name in my mouth, but at least he’s pulling some of the attention away from me for once.

A lot of the pack suspects him for being behind the attacks we’ve had. I’ve heard all sorts of ridiculous notions about the hows and whys of the uptick in rogue activity being concentrated on the Crescent Pack, but he’s the main common denominator in all of them.

Personally, I think it’s a little stupid to automatically assume it was him. Until Dad or Roman tell me he was behind them, I’ll continue to think that way. His disappearance hasn’t done him any favors, though. I’m not sure I’d be healing as well as I am if he was here, so I can’t help but be thankful for him not being around right now. The thought of having him here as a constant reminder makes my blood run cold.

No, thank you. That would not be good at all.

I’d probably be a weepy, nonfunctioning mess. The bond in my chest goes crazy just at the passing mention of him. I can’t imagine how batshit it would be if he were still here.

It doesn’t take me long to reach my dad’s office, and I find a somber looking Roman in there with him. I look around the room, trying not to frown when I realize Maddox isn’t with him. That in itself is weird, because Maddox is never far from his dad, especially when he comes here. Immediately, the worst comes to mind, and I fight against the shake that threatens to take over my body. “Oh god, how bad is it?”

They both look at me like I’ve lost my mind, and funnily enough, that causes a wave of relief to crash through my body. I shrug half-heartedly. “You both look like someone shot your puppy. What else was I supposed to think?”

“Luna…” my dad groans while Roman just laughs.

“You certainly have a way with words,” Roman says with a rueful chuckle. “Don’t worry, no puppies are dead, but I am here with news.” He motions for me to sit, so I do, waiting for him to continue.

“We’ve visited every pack, and while some have had defectors, there haven’t been enough documented that would equal the numbers we saw here. The Lycan we caught the day Maddox was shot told us that the ones they gathered were offshoots of the five Lycan packs we thought were decimated after the war twenty odd years ago.

“It seems they’ve been in hiding, making plans for how and who to attack to have the largest impact. He swore the second round of attackers was the last of rogues, but I’m not sure I believe it. It seems foolish to hide out for so long and then risk losing everyone on your second attack.” He sighs deeply before dropping into the chair next to me. “On the other hand, if they didn’t have the numbers to start with, a second, desperate attempt with everything they have makes at least a modicum of sense to me.”

I have a headache just from taking all that in. I can’t imagine how he must feel having to actually make the decisions about what might be truthful versus what’s clearly bullshit. How much worse must it be when he thought he’d dealt with this problem once?

“Have there been any whispers about who could have been behind it?” I ask, and Dad snorts.

“You mean other than the ones around here about Jackson? No, not even one.” Dad freezes the second he finishes speaking and looks at me like he just stabbed me in the heart. Fates help me, the man might drive me crazy even as he’s granting me more freedoms than ever before.

“I’m fine, Dad,” I say, taking a deep breath and pretending like hearing his name spoken aloud isn’t a dagger to the heart. I hate this stupid fucking bond. “I won’t wither up and die just from hearing his name.”

“I wouldn’t blame you, kid,” Roman says, patting my knee. “I know how much it hurt when Remy forgot about me when she was reborn. The bond inside of you is a blessing and a curse.”

“How did you deal with it?” I ask, and he grins almost maniacally.

“With a lot of blood.”

In that moment, I catch a glimpse at the Roman Knight that legends speak about. The monster used in stories to keep kids in line. He really was the thing that goes bump in the night, and a shudder runs down my spine.

“I don’t exactly have that option.” A dry laugh escapes me, and I run a hand through my hair. As homicidal as I feel toward my gossiping pack some days, I can’t imagine that leaving a swath of blood in my wake would actually soothe the ache inside of me. “But it’s fine. I have plenty of distractions. At least he’s not here, so I don’t have to see him.”

They look at each other, and I don’t even want to know what that look means. So I don’t ask.

“Do we think the attacks are over then?” I ask instead as I glance at Roman. He frowns, and more questions spill out of me. “Have any other packs had issues? Do we know why we were attacked if the others weren’t?”

“No other packs were attacked, and the Lycan we captured didn’t know why it was specifically you guys either. He was just a soldier following orders, or at least that's what he made it out to seem. He didn’t talk all that much, but I’m pretty sure that's because he didn’t know a lot. His orders were to take you out.”

I suck in a breath at the news, but I mean, I already know he tried to shoot me. It's just that his orders were to take me out. It seems a little personal, and I sure as hell don’t know why. I cast a confused glance in Dad’s direction, but Roman continues, pulling my attention away from my stony-faced dad. “I’m pretty sure this has something to do with your dad and me, which is why no one else was attacked. I’m going to continue investigating it, and until we have concrete answers, security stays ramped up. Creek and Kain have both put out feelers, and Levi is checking in with Zeph to see if he knows anything too. In the meantime, I’d like you to train with Remy some more. I want you to be more aware of your surroundings at all times. You need to be able to tell if you’re being tailed. Remy can help you with all of that.”

“I’m always down for training with Remy. Will Maddox mind me being around more?” I ask, wringing out my hands. I thought he and I were okay, but he’s not here, and that alone makes me anxious as hell.

Roman’s face softens, and he smiles sadly at me. “He’ll be fine with it. It was his idea.”

“Oh.” I blush so hard I feel my ears heat up. “That’s good then.”

“So we’ll see you at the Manor after the weekend?”

I grin, despite my embarrassment, and nod. I’d be stupid to turn down an opportunity to train with Remy again, especially if someone is trying to kill me to get back at my dad. I also want to start planning my trip around the world real soon, and if I can become a badass before then, that’s just even more of a win.

I’m not going to let someone trying to kill me get me down. This last month has been a living nightmare. It’s just one more thing to add to the list.