Giving Away by Lola King

CHAPTER 4

‘Got no self-control, it’s the root of my evil

Wage war in my head when I’m tryna keep it peaceful

A little feels good, a little more and it’s lethal’

Riptide - grandson

Jamie

Less than fifteen minutes later the sound of the door bursting open makes me jump.

“In here,” Rose says lazily.

Jake, Chris, and Luke appear in the kitchen, their faces a mix of concern and disbelief.

“What the fuck, Ozy! I was looking for you all night!” Jake barks.

“You missed all the fun,” Rose mumbles as she gets up and I follow.

“Jamie, do you have any tools in here?” Chris asks.

“Uh, yeah. Hall closet.”

Chris turns around and disappears in the hallway. I’m trying to get my thoughts straight, which turns out to be an impossible task with Jake’s furious eyes piercing through me. He hasn’t looked away since they stepped in the kitchen.

“What was Sam doing here?” Jake asks as his gaze finally leaves mine.

Rose huffs. “Maybe I shouldn’t have called you. Are you a detective now?”

“I swear don’t piss me off, Ozy, because I’ll leave you here, I don’t fucking care.”

“Man, calm down,” Luke says as he puts a hand on Jake’s shoulder.

Jake takes a deep breath and Rose just watches him with a mocking smile, not scared of him in the slightest. It’s strange to hear Jake call her ‘Ozy’ after hearing it coming out of Nathan’s mouth.

They’re the same family. This couldn’t feel more unnatural. It doesn’t sound right.

Chris comes back with a heavy-duty cable cutter that I wasn’t aware my mom owned. His biceps bulge right next to my face as he cuts the chain keeping me and Rose locked together. In a ping of metal breaking, both she and I are free, apart from each still having a cuff around one of our wrists.

“What are we meant to do with this?” I ask Chris.

I can’t ask Jake because I’m too intimidated by his presence. The rage emanating from his body seems to be aimed at me only.

“You got a hairpin or something?” Rose questions.

I nod and we both walk to my bedroom in silence. As soon as she closes the door behind us, she turns to me.

“You can’t tell them I showed up with Sam. I don’t need a life lesson right now, you got that?”

I nod quickly, I wasn’t going to say anything anyway.

She smiles at me as she grabs a bobby pin on my desk and starts working at my cuff. “You got yourself in quite a situation here, Goody. Jake and Nate…fucking hell, the guy is a psychopath how did you even end up with him.”

“I don’t know,” I hesitate. “He is-was different?”

She doesn’t reply, lost in her own thoughts. This situation has gone way past anything I could have imagined.

My cuff opens and she starts working on hers.

“You’ve got some strange skills,” I admit.

“Funny enough, that’s the least strange.”

Her cuff opens and she looks back at me. “It’s gonna be fine,” she says. I’m not sure if she’s trying to reassure herself or me.

“Enough chatting,” Jake’s harsh voice cuts through our moment. “He’s obviously gonna come back. Let’s go.”

“I can’t just leave my house like that,” I say to Rose.

“Who said you’re going anywhere. Let’s go, Ozy,” he repeats.

“Dude, you’re being an asshole. Stop it,” she tells him.

“I don’t think you’re really in a position to judge anyone right now.” I watch as his hand tightens on the doorknob.

“You’re really gonna leave her here alone when you know your psychopath of a brother is going to be back anytime?” She stands face to face with Jake, and I can see the battle for power in their gazes.

“Don’t call him my brother. And she’s not my problem. You’re big enough of a problem, I don’t need another one.”

There’s a slight frown on her face as her jaw clicks but she quickly regains composure. “You’re starting to say things you’re going to regret,” she warns.

“And you’ve already done things I’ll make you regret–”

He’s cut off when Luke runs into the room. “Guys, there’s a car parking in front of the house. I think it’s them.”

Rose and Jake are taken out of their stare-down.

“Are you packing?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

“Give it to me.” She extends her arm out, palm up, and expects him to hand out the gun.

“Fuck no.”

“Jake!”

“Stay here,” he says as he leaves the room with Luke. The first thing she does is follow him and so do I.

I see Jake’s gun tucked in the back of his jeans and a chill runs down my spine at the well-known item.

As soon as I reach the living room, Chris strides toward me. “You should stay in your room, Jamie,” he orders as politely as possible.

He looks at Rose but doesn’t say anything, as if he already knows he won’t be able to send her away. I should be more like this. More like her. Put my foot down and be strong and stubborn enough to stand my ground. Maybe that would have avoided me being stuck between Jake and Nathan. It would have avoided me Jake’s wrath or dating a gang member without even knowing.

I don’t have time to reply or walk back to my room because someone tries to open my front door. One of the guys must have locked it. There’s a banging on the door and Nathan’s voice leaks through.

“‘Me! I know you’re here, open the door!”

Jake’s face instantly falls, and he turns to me. I know he spoke to Nathan yesterday, I know he knows, but the pain in his eyes… It still hurts to hear Nathan call me ‘Me. That stupid nickname.

Nathan’s voice is the only thing that breaks the heavy silence. “I don’t know how you two got out, but you need to let me in. We need to talk. ‘Me, please.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, secretly hoping the whole situation will disappear. I’m like a kid thinking no one can see me if I can’t see anything.

“Baby, please open the door.”

This is not how this was supposed to go. Nothing was meant to fuck up this bad. I had made my choice; I chose Nathan no matter how much I wanted Jake. I chose simplicity and safety over the dangerous need my body and mind needed. Nathan was keeping me safe. He wasn’t meant to suddenly become danger and lies.

Jake chuckles sarcastically and it slowly turns into a cold laugh. He still isn’t looking anywhere but straight at me.

“I think your boyfriend wants to come in, Goody.” His voice is lacerated with venom and poisoning me whole.

Chris runs a hand behind his neck and shakes his head. “Fuck,” he huffs.

Jake makes a beeline for the front door. “You shouldn’t have any problem dealing with him. I’m sure you were fine until now.”

“Jake–” I try, but he’s already opened the door.

On the other side, Nathan is surprised for a split second but quickly gives his brother a frozen smile. He crosses his arms on his chest as he leans against the doorframe.

“Here to the rescue, I see.” Nathan’s cold voice makes me shiver because, clearly, me and his siblings haven’t faced the same person.

◆◆◆

Jake

‘Go on, run to Ozy to let her know I’m alive. But tell Jamie who I am and the girl is dead.’

That’s what he told me yesterday. I couldn’t warn Jamie that she was in bed with a psychopath, I couldn’t risk her life like that. Nate’s threats are anything but empty. So I did what he said, I spent my night trying to warn my sister. In vain.

I try to keep my head as blank as possible but seeing Nate alive and well in front of my eyes is making me dizzy. Second time in twenty-four hours and I still can’t believe my eyes. In what world is this motherfucker alive? Because it sure as hell wasn’t supposed to be this one. There was no way in hell my sister missed a shot.

She’s been trained harder than in the army. Bianco wouldn’t let her as much as eat or sleep if she missed her targets at training. Most kids had never held a gun at eleven and Ozy could already aim better than fully trained soldiers. Nate shouldn’t be standing in front of me because Rose White never missed. Or so we thought.

I spent all night trying to contact Ozy, calling, texting. Chris, Luke and I drove around Stoneview looking for her. She always disappears, does her own thing, but never in our seventeen years has she missed blowing out our candles together.

After seeing Nate, I thought something had happened to her, I didn’t sleep, I’m running on nerves and anger right now. Exactly like I used to as a kid. It helps to hide any other emotions, eventually it even makes them disappear.

“Cat got your tongue, brother?”

“Don’t call me that,” I hiss at him.

He shoulders past me and inside the house, Sam following him like the dog he is.

“I see you brought your pet along,” I say purely to rile them up.

The two are best friends, but Sam has always been in his shadow. I’ve never really known what he does for Bianco, I just always assumed he would kill to be Bianco’s right man, probably has, while that spot always belonged to Nate. And that’s because Nate knows right from wrong perfectly and always chooses wrong. He is a master at pushing others to a life of crime and he has the charm that goes with it.

My chest tightens thinking that Jamie fell for that charm. I was fuming with jealousy when she chose another guy over me. I can’t begin to describe what it feels like to learn that guy was my supposed-to-be-dead brother. Seeing him with her yesterday, her naïvely getting in his car like he was her savior…it broke something in me. I don’t just hate my brother, I hate her for falling for him.

Years away from Nate and Bianco have slowly helped me find the humanity in me. The problem with feeling shit is that it’s not always rainbows and unicorns. It’s also hatred, jealousy, longing, painful love. I need something to calm me down. My fingers clench into fists and I release. I repeat the process multiple times before I turn around.

“You need to leave,” I say as calmly as possible.

The simple fact that Nate is in the same room as me, as Rose, as Jamie, is driving me mad with anger. He’s taking my control away and for that reason only I want to bury my fist in his jaw. I know better than to do so though. Not only is he a strong bastard and he’s the one who taught me how to fight, but he also knows when to back away and is the king of revenge served cold. I might get a punch in now, but I’ll regret it later…or Ozy will and that’s the worst kind of revenge.

“Hey, Jake, you met my girlfriend Jamie, right?”

I risk a glance at Jamie as my blood starts to boil. She’s looking at me with pity in her eyes and that’s only making it worse. She has no fucking idea what she’s done and who she got involved with, how bad it is.

Chris and Luke are looking at me like they know I’m about to snap.

I won’t. I can’t do this. Not here. Not now. It’s okay, I just have to bring back old habits: stay calm, it doesn’t affect you, don’t feel anything. Rose is too focused on shooting daggers at Sam to stop me from doing anything stupid.

“You should go, Nathan,” Jamie says in a shaky voice, her eyes to the floor.

She’s settled her back against the breakfast bar and is rubbing her hands together. Anxiety is pouring out of her and I’m starting to feel bad for her. She’s slowly realizing what a fucking mess she put herself in. She shouldn’t have to go through the horrible situation of trying to escape Nate. No one should.

“You heard her,” I insist.

Nate smiles coldly at me and slowly walks toward Jamie as Sam leans on the back of the sofa, folding his tattooed arms over his chest and watching my two best friends in case they try a move. He keeps quiet like he always does, but I know deep down he’s waiting for it all to explode.

I can see Jamie squirming as Nathan gets closer to her.

“‘Me,” he huffs and grabs the back of her neck in a hard grip. His fingers tangle with her hair and she jumps at the harsh touch like it was the last thing she expected from him. “Why don’t you try to understand?”

I thought Bianco had destroyed any sort of feeling inside me. That no matter how much effort I put in pretending to care, or to be happy, or to have fun it would never feel genuine inside me. Then how come, when Nate touches Jamie and she flinches, the beast inside me wakes up in a split second? I thought I was stuck in an infinity of emptiness, but Jamie…I can’t even pretend I don’t feel anything because right now…right now I see red. I tried to keep it together, I lasted about five minutes. Who fucking cares?

Rose is the first to notice the sudden change as I stride toward Nate and Jamie.

“Jake don’t–” but I can’t hear her. I grab Nate by the shoulder, pulling him away from Jamie, and my fist lands hard on his face.

“Don’t. Fucking. Touch her!” I roar.

Jamie’s loud gasp doesn’t help. I wanted to not care about her or at worst hate her, and I wanted to stay away from her. I tried to respect the fact that she chose someone else, but that was before I realized the ‘someone else’ was Nate.

My obsessivity over her creeps back and drowns out my common sense. She’s mine. She was always mine. The way her body responds to mine, the way she submits under my touch. She made the wrong choice, and I’m not about to let her forget that.

Nate staggers back but quickly straightens back up. The fucker can really take a punch and I can see Chris’ surprise written all over his face. He knows how hard and technical my punches are. Both Chris and Luke knew of Nate, but they didn’t know him. How could they? He was meant to be fucking dead. I think they’re starting to get the kind of guy he is.

Chris and Luke are about to come for help, so I hold a hand up as Nate walks back to face me.

“I don’t think I need to explain to you how bad you just fucked up, do I?” he taunts me.

“Get the fuck out of here. I don’t give a shit about your threats.”

“My threats? Oh, Jake, you’re so cute.”

“Leave. It’s your last warning.” I take another step toward him and our foreheads are practically touching.

I’m larger than him, but Nate’s lean muscles and hidden strength is what has always fooled people into thinking he was an easy target. He’s not. His strength comes from the psychopathic traits he hides and the lack of fear. It comes from the deep will of actually wanting to kill people.

He’s slightly taller than me, but it’s because he’s instilled fear in me too deep and too long ago that I know it’s not a good idea to fight him. Unfortunately, sometimes, anger drives one to do stupid things.

He chuckles, looks behind me, probably at Jamie, and back at me.

“What’s up? You think if you play the hero you got a chance with her? You’re no fucking hero, Jake.”

He smirks at me and I instantly know where he’s going. My heart is beating so hard in my chest, I’m surprised my shirt isn’t moving to the rhythm.

“You couldn’t save yourself,” he lowers his voice, “and you definitely couldn’t save Ozy–”

I punch him again and this time he falls to the floor.

“Fuck! Jake, stop!” Rose’s husky voice pierces through my rage. It’s drowned out as fast as it came.

She knows he’s going to kick my ass. She knows what he’s capable of and she’s scared for me, but I don’t care. My body is taking control and it wants blood.

I hurry on top of him to punch him again. He easily avoids it and flips us around. I feel the gun at the back of my jeans slip away before I can reach it.

“Really? You’re packing? That’s fucking weak,” he laughs.

His fist lands just below my eye and the pain shoots all the way to my skull. It quickly disappears as adrenaline takes over.

“See, Jake, I don’t need a fucking gun to beat you. You’re so weak it’s barely effort.”

He punches me again and again. I think back to what he said. To the moments of my childhood where I couldn’t save my own sister from Bianco. I hit back and, as I imagine the things he and Jamie have done together, my rage doubles.

I manage to punch him in the ribs making him slightly retreat in a wince. The break gives me a chance to land another punch to the side of his face and he gets off of me to avoid another blow. He gets up fast and I’m not quick enough to follow. I receive a kick to the ribs and groan in pain.

He’s about to kick me again when the loud click of a gun makes everyone freeze in silence. I notice Jamie being held back by Luke, her face streaked with tears, while Chris and Sam are close to me and Nate, ready to jump in at any time.

In the middle of it all, Rose is pointing my gun at Nate and me. Sadly, she looks in her element and anyone who knows what she’s capable of should fear her right now.

“You two need to fucking chill.”

She looks so relaxed with a gun in her hands, it concerns me. I slowly get back up.

“Rose, put this down,” Sam calmly says as he advances toward her with one hand in front of him.

Truly, if anyone can get her to do anything, it’s him. Right now, though, she doesn’t seem in the mood to listen to anyone but herself.

“Take another step and Nate will be picking cute coffins with Bianco,” she smiles at Sam.

I can’t help a small laugh from escaping my lips and it enhances the copper taste of blood in my mouth. I can feel it dribbling down my face.

She turns back to Nate and me. “You need to leave, Nate.”

“You think you scare me because you’re holding your favorite toy?” he taunts her. “You missed me once, you’ll miss again. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve lost your aim by now.”

“Nate,” Sam growls in warning.

She nods her head. “Your choice,” she shrugs.

Without hesitation, she shoots in his direction. I flinch and my ears ring, but I can still hear Jamie’s scream. The smell of burnt gunpowder fills the air and I instantly turn toward Nate. I know she hasn’t killed him, but I want to check what she did.

“You fucking bitch,” he hisses at her.

I notice the bullet lodged in the shelf right next to him, splitting the wood. A few centimeters away from his face. A warning from my twin.

“Get the fuck out of here,” she spits at him.

Nate is about to jump her, and I’m ready to get in the way, but Sam seems to make the right decision for once in his life. He strides to Nate and grabs one of his arms.

“Let’s go,” he says in a voice that is almost a whisper. Nate snaps his arm back and doesn’t budge. “Mate,” Sam insists, “Let’s go.”

Nate looks around the room and his gaze lingers on Jamie. I try my best not to move or say anything. If I do, he’ll never leave.

“I’ll see you very soon,” he says to me. “Try to keep your hands off my girlfriend in the meantime.”

I can’t help the animalistic growl that bubbles in my throat. I still manage to keep my mouth shut as I watch him and Sam leave the house. They quietly close the door behind them as if not a worry in the world. My shoulders relax as soon as he’s out of sight and I let out a breath.

I turn to Ozy who’s wiping her brows with her wrist in an anxious gesture. She’s still holding the gun.

“Put that shit down,” I snap at her. She doesn’t deserve it, but I have no other exit right now.

“You’re welcome for not letting him kick your ass by the way.”

“Ugh, fuck off, Rose. Give me my gun.”

She reluctantly gives it back to me. I can see Chris and Luke talking to Jamie in the corner of my eye. I can’t focus on her. I can’t look at her. Not after everything I’ve learned. She’s been dating my dead brother. Was there any other outcome than me losing my shit? Why did I even try to save her? I should know she doesn’t need saving. She chose to be with him.

This is a nightmare I’m never going to wake up from.