Smokey’s Turmoil by Erin Osborne
Chapter Twenty-Four
Smokey
GETTING THE PANICKED phone call from Jasmine rocked my world. Hearing Charlotte was missing, and she ran away rocked me to my core. This is all because I was there, and she has reservations about me. She was upset and mad with her cousin for letting me back in. Now, Jasmine is still paying the price because she’s home with Colby out of her mind with worry. About the only good thing I can say about this situation is, I was her first and only call. She’s letting me in enough to confide in me and let me help her.
“What’s goin’ on?” Renegade questions me as everyone stops what they’re doing and listens in.
“Charlotte ran away from Jas. She was upset when we picked her up from school and that’s why I left. We both wanted to give her time to cool down before talkin’ to her. Now, she left through the window and Jas has no clue where she’s at,” I state looking at Corrinth since she’s here and not home.
Without another word, I race from the clubhouse. Since we don’t know how long she’s been gone, Charlotte could be anywhere in town. Even if we believe we got the last guy out there looking to cash in on the price on Jasmine’s head, that doesn’t mean we have. All the guys race out to their SUVs or trucks along with the ol’ ladies. We don’t need to communicate to know where we’ll all be searching for her. Even Jason races out to his car so he can search for her.
Pulling out of the compound, I slowly drive down each and every street on my way closer toward Jasmine’s house. My gaze searches each side of the street for any sign or shadow of Charlotte. I’m working my way toward the playground just down from Jasmine’s house. With Corrinth not being home and everything going through Charlotte’s mind, I have no doubt in my mind she’s at the playground for some time to sort through her shit. Shit I have unintentionally caused because I couldn’t get my head out of my ass.
This playground isn’t really much more than some swings, an old jungle gym, a slide, an old see-saw that doesn’t work good anymore, and over run fields. A few years ago, it was an amazing place to bring your kids and hang out for the day playing games and having picnics. Now, I wouldn’t want to bring any of the kids in town here. It needs a massive overhaul to restore it to what it used to be. Again, the perfect place for someone who wants to hide out and sink into despair and their pain. That’s why my gut is telling me Charlotte is here to hide from everything she doesn’t want to face in her life right this minute.
Parking my truck in the pot hole filled lot, I leave my lights on to shine out over the playground. Charlotte is sitting on top of the jungle gym. Now, my heart races for a different reason. I’m not sure it’s going to hold her weight as she sits on top of the metal structure. Visions of her falling and getting hurt or breaking bones fills my mind as I jump out and race toward her.
“Charlotte!” I call out, not trying to scare her, but needing her to know she’s in danger.
“Smokey?” she questions, her voice filled with the tears she’s sobbing.
“Yeah sweetheart, it’s me. Can you come down from there? Jasmine’s worried sick and I’m not sure it’s safe for you up there,” I tell her, my voice as soft as I can make it.
“Why are you here?” she demands, her petulant teenage side coming out full force.
“Because you are. We’ve got a lot of things to talk about and sort out. Charlotte, I know I hurt you. You have every right to be pissed and upset with me. Jasmine and you were hurt by my actions and that’s the last thing I wanted. If you come down here and talk to me, I’ll let you know why I did what I did. Then, you can decide if you can forgive me or not,” I plead with her, pulling out my phone to let the guys and Jasmine know I have her.
After a few minutes that seem more like hours instead, Charlotte finally climbs down from the jungle gym. Her face, still shadowed in the freezing, still night is red and blotchy as tears fall down her cheeks. I want to pull her into my arms to comfort her and make sure she’s okay. Refraining, I let her get closer to me before we head to my truck. This is not a conversation we’re going to have out in the cold night when my truck is here, and I can get her in the warmth of the heated interior.
Opening the passenger door for Char, I let her hop up in before opening the back door to grab a blanket I have stashed in here in case something happens. Covering her up, I close her door before heading the driver’s side and jumping in. Starting the engine, I turn on the heat to blast it at her. Charlotte’s shivering in her seat as she pulls the blanket tighter around her. I turn to face her, taking a deep breath before I begin to speak in the dark interior of the truck. For this conversation, we’re keeping the dome light off. There’s enough light filtering through the window and from the dash for us to talk.
“When you came to live with us at the apartment, I was okay with it. You’re a teenager and someone who wanted to get to know her cousin. I didn’t view it as a foster home situation because of the blood relation between Jasmine and you. Then, Jasmine brought Colby home because of the situation at the compound and his attachment to her. There is no shared blood between the three of you. It is a foster home situation with him. Well, it was until the adoption went through.
“Growin’ up, my father was an abusive fuck. He would beat on my mom every single day he was in our home. Then, he started in on my baby brother Tristan and me. We couldn’t do a single thing right. There was no love in our home or anyone to make sure we did our homework or were in home on time. The three of us walked on eggshells every single time my father was in the house. He’s an abusive, manipulative asshat who only gives a fuck about himself.
“Tristan wasn’t like other kids when we were little. He was sick. My mom learned early on that he had asthma. Instead of bein’ able to run and play like the rest of us, Tristan couldn’t do it. He would lose breath and had to be put in the hospital several times because he wanted to do everythin’ I was. Plus, I wanted to keep him as far from our father as possible, so he’d be less likely to get beaten simply for bein’ different. As a result, I’d get my ass handed to me even more. That went for years. I was ten and my brother had just turned eight when my father killed my mom.
“We were put in foster homes. Not a single place would keep me with Tristan. I went from bein’ his protector to not havin’ him in my life at all. He didn’t last long in his foster home before I found out he was killed. My foster parents refused to let me go to a funeral for him or anythin’. So, I ran away. I have not had any good experiences with foster homes. That doesn’t mean I ever believe Jasmine will not be a good mom to you guys. I just hadn’t worked through my own shit. Colby movin’ in brought back all the memories I’ve been tryin’ to fight and keep at the back of my head for so long. That’s why I left the apartment and haven’t didn’t think of you guys when I did.
“Renegade finally sat me down and talked some sense into me. Made me realize my past is just that; the past. As a ten-year-old little boy, I couldn’t do anythin’ to stop what my father was doin’ to any of us. Now, I can. I’m a man who will give my last breath to protect Jasmine, you, Colby, and our new baby. The way I handled things wasn’t the right thing to do. I want to make up for it and have you let me back in. I’m not goin’ to disappear again, and the only time I plan on leavin’ is for club business. I’ll be there every second of the day for you guys. If you think you can let me back in,” I tell her a shortened version of my past in hopes of explaining why I ran away.
“You can’t leave again Smokey. Not only did Jasmine hurt really bad, but you made me feel as if I didn’t matter to you at all. Everyone has always left me in my life. Until Jasmine and you came into it. I finally thought I’d have the family I always wanted with two adults who loved me and wanted to make sure I was on the right path. Then, you just left. It went from having your help with my homework and spending time with us just because to an empty apartment where Jasmine has been trying to do everything on her own. She is constantly worrying about me taking on too much responsibility. Even when she doesn’t say something, I always know what’s going on in her head. Now, there’s going to be a new baby to think about and Colby. Smokey, you have to be all in if you come back. There is nothing less you can do. Jasmine loves you and I love you. Colby will grow to love you with time and your own baby will love you too. This isn’t a game,” Charlotte tells me, sounding way older than her sixteen years.
To say my heart is officially broken would be an understatement. This girl just hit me with truth I wasn’t looking at. Even when Jasmine talked to me, I didn’t see her point as good as what Charlotte just gave me. Pulling her closer to me, I let her sob against my chest. For several minutes, we sit in silence until she pulls back and looks at me.
“I’m all in. You’re gonna get sick of me Char. I’m a protective fucker who will threaten any boy who thinks they’re good enough to talk to you. Not a single one will be. I’ll be there to wipe your tears when your heart gets broken and make sure the man you finally fall in love with knows exactly what will happen if he doesn’t treat you as a Queen. The same way I vow to be with Jasmine from this day forward. Now, are you ready to go home and apologize to Jas? She didn’t deserve the shit you spewed at her earlier.”
“I know she didn’t. I was just so hurt by you coming back. I thought you were just going to leave again. My words wouldn’t hurt you the same as they’d hurt her. I didn’t mean a single one of them,” she says, sobbing again. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
“Of course, she will. Jasmine loves you with everythin’ in her. There isn’t anythin’ you could do that she won’t forgive. Let’s get you home so she can lay eyes on you. The stress isn’t good for her and the baby,” I tell her, putting the truck in gear to head to Jasmine’s house.
It takes seconds for the door to open up once I pull in the driveway. Tossing the blanket to the side, Charlotte jumps from the truck before I have it in gear and is racing toward Jasmine. The two hug as if their lives depend on it. Shutting the truck off, I get out and make my way to the porch. Wrapping my arms around both my girls, I hold them for a minute before ushering them inside.
“Jasmine, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I took off. I was just so upset about things with Smokey. I get it now though. He was trying to protect himself and didn’t understand how that would hurt us. Then, I hurt you when you’ve been doing your best trying to take Colby and me in to give us a good home filled with all the love we could ever need. Jas, don’t push him away like I know you want to. He knows where I stand and I’ll never do anything like this again,” Charlotte tells her, keeping an arm wrapped around Jasmine’s waist.
“Please don’t run away like that again Char. I love you so much. If anything had happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do. From now on, we talk about things. Whenever something is bothering us, we talk it out. Even if we need space for a little bit, we’ll all talk it out,” Jasmine responds, including me in those words. “Now, go hop in the shower. Tomorrow you can stay home, and we’ll see how you’re feeling. It’s not good to be out in this cold and I’m not sure you won’t get sick. Plus, you have homework you need to do.”
Charlotte gives Jasmine another hug and kiss on the cheek before disappearing in her room. In a matter of minutes, she’s in the bathroom for her shower. Jasmine slumps down on the couch as I sit next to her. I won’t be leaving this house tonight. My family is under this roof and it’s where I’m going to be. There is no more being apart from them. Jasmine will come to terms with it soon.
“Thank you for bringing her home to me,” she finally says as a few tears slide down her face.
Sitting down next to her, I wipe her tears away before placing a tender kiss on her soft lips. Jasmine clings to me as if I’m her only lifeline. I’ll take whatever she wants to give me right now. Each day she’s going to let me in a little more and I’m going to keep pushing until I’m fully seated in her heart and soul. I’ll make sure I’m here for every milestone of the kids, to wipe away tears, heal broken hearts, and be there for all the smiles and good times in between. There is nowhere else I’d rather be and no one else I’ll ever want to have a family with.
“We talked and I explained things. I never meant to hurt any of you. You’re my family and I’m gonna make sure you all know it without a doubt. I’ll be there for everythin’ you guys need and more. Jasmine, I’m sorry to have put doubt in any of you.”
“I know you are. I’ll need some time, but I don’t want you anywhere other than where you are right now; right by my side,” she tells me just as Charlotte makes her way back into her room ready for bed.
“Get to bed. I’ll lock. Sleepin’ on the couch tonight,” I state, helping her up off the couch. “No arguin’ Jas. I’ll be out here if any of you need anythin’. Tomorrow I have to go to work, but I’ll be here when I’m done for the day. I’ll bring dinner with me, so you don’t have to worry about it. Get some sleep.”
Without another word, Jasmine gives me a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth before heading to her room. Walking through her small house, I double check all of the windows and doors before setting her alarm. By the time I’ve used the bathroom and am ready for bed, there’s a blanket and pillow waiting for me on the couch. Jasmine just can’t help herself. Stripping down to my boxers, I leave my clothes on the floor by the couch before laying down and closing my eyes. Sleep comes faster than ever with me being back under the same roof as my family.
